A Date Told Me My Psoriasis Was A Curse

TRIGGER WARNING:
The aim of this blog is to share my experience with honesty. Therefore, some of the comments made in this posts may trigger some uncomfortable feelings on finding love while living with psoriasis. This is just one situation and is by no means the general consensus of what people think.

Being comfortable talking about my psoriasis

There was a time in my life where revealing I had psoriasis to a potential spouse felt like a “coming-out” moment. I would play in my head how I was going to bring it up and how I would articulate it. I would envision how they might respond. I would prepare rebuttals just in case their feedback was undesirable, which is what I expected. Telling someone I had psoriasis use to be a distressing task. I would try to dodge the conversation for as long as I could but eventually, it had to be discussed. Most times due to the severity of my disease it was noticed before I could formulate the words. A conversation which started with, “I  have psoriasis…” usually ended with a response of, “Yeah I saw that something was going on with your skin…

Most men I have revealed my condition to were accepting and made sure I knew it was okay. For the ones that it may have been a deal breaker for, they never mentioned it to me directly.

Disclosing psoriasis to my date

Where psoriasis used to be the last item on my list to disclose it is now typically the first thing I talk about, which I can’t really avoid. My life is patient psoriasis advocacy. I make a living from writing, advocating, speaking, and now I’m attending school to further my education in the medical field. My whole life encompasses psoriasis. So when the traditional question comes up of, “What do you do for a living…” the conversation resorts to my work and how I stumbled upon it. So now potential lovers know right off I have psoriasis.

Recently I went on a date with a gentleman I met off of Match.com. We conversed online for about a week or 2 then took things offline and exchanged numbers. During the very first conversation, I immediately became unsure this interaction would move into anything serious. The whole entire time while on the phone he talked about himself. By this point I had agreed to go out with him hoping the in-person meeting would provide different results than what occurred on the phone. During this time I did manage to briefly discuss my psoriasis background only because he asked what I did for a living. Once I revealed my patient advocacy work he began to explain his advocacy with HIV because his mother passed away from it.

Not a match

10 minutes after arriving on the date I realized the same non-stop talking I had encountered over the phone was no different in-person. Not sure if my disappointment showed, but in my head, I was ready to go. There was zero chemistry. I tried my best to engage in the conversation where I could, but I just let him talk. At the end of the night, he walked me to my car and we hugged. Once I arrived home I texted him thank you for the time that night, in which he didn’t text me back. I figured, cool, the disinterest is mutual and moved on.

About 4 days later he texted me. It’s a bit of a long story, which isn’t necessary to explain for the purpose of this blog. But the text led to me advising him I wasn’t interested in taking things further. He was NOT pleased with my response. This was followed by the continuous text of him asking me why I felt that way. Reluctantly I explained, but it only irritated him more. Once I decided to discontinue the back and forth I wished him well on his date life. This was followed by an insult of me being a divorced woman, at that point, I blocked him from my phone.

Things take a turn for the worst

3 Days later he came on a friends post where I was having a debate on legal matters (A discussion which originally started on my page as a public post). Sadly the two of us weren’t friends on Facebook so my ex-date came looking for my page and happened to stumble across the disagreement. I guess in an attempt to gain cahoots with someone who I was debating with, he started commenting mean and rude sentiments under the status, but the most shocking had to do with my condition… He wrote,  “That’s why you got cursed with your skin disease, God don’t like ugly…

10 years ago his comment would have destroyed me. I would have fallen into a depression, felt sorry for myself, questioned my ability to be loved, asked God why? But today and on that day I didn’t feel a thing. I wasn’t hurt, I wasn’t even angry. In that moment I was proud of myself. Something that once had such a tight grip on my life was less of a factor, his comment showed how unempathetic and ignorant he is which doesn’t have anything to do with who I am.

When people say hurtful things with no remorse it’s their issue, it signifies their character or lack thereof.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The PlaquePsoriasis.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

Poll