The Layers of Psoriasis
What vegetable are you? I thought about this for a minute. I would be an onion. Why? I'm glad you asked. Living with psoriasis is a daily peeling away of fear, frustration, depression, loneliness, confusion, anger, grief, sadness, being thankful and anxiety. It’s not only the peeling away of my skin but the layers and layers of emotions I live with every day.
Just like anyone else. I've learned to peel away bad friendships; they can be toxic, bad advice, bad moods, bad feelings, bad remarks, bad timing, bad doctors, and bad diagnosis. It can be very hard when you have lived with such a debilitating disease. I compare it to when I'm in the kitchen getting ready to prepare a meal. I must clean my onion and pull all the layers off so I use it for my meal.
I stand at my kitchen counter and before I realize it I am in tears from the onion. I say to myself, wow I'm crying. The stronger the onion the stronger the tears. When I reflect over my ups and downs of living with psoriasis, tears began to roll down my face you know that certain people aren't good to be around. I must remove them from my space. I have a friend that is very critical and negative. I wondered why being in her presence always irritates me. When I accepted the fact that I must remove her, all the other layers of deep emotional scars went away and I felt much better.
Not looking back
We want to sometimes reminisce about the past. I have found out that I must not look back at those old feelings, old hurts, and old thoughts, but be present in the here and now. If we would remove these layers and layers of dead weight, I believe it would make us feel so much better. We would have fewer tears, fewer fears, fewer worries, and our focus would be great and on other things. The onion is just what it is and so am I. If I continue to let these layers remain on me and not peel them back, I would be miserable. This is not going to be my story. I refuse to be that big brown onion sitting there in silence unpeeled with multiple layers of doubt, fear, frustration, pain, and bitterness growing in my life; no not me.
How I uprooted everything bad that it would not grow?
First, I had to acknowledge that I had to get rid of layers of unwanted stuff. Second, I tackled them one by one. Third, I made sure that psoriasis wouldn't plant any bitterness in me. And finally, I turned negative into positive which made my life so much better.
I used to hold on to so much garbage and hide behind my psoriasis. I would name and blame everybody for what was happening to me. I had to take accountability for my health and wellbeing. I’m not going to name everything that I have done over the years, I am responsible for my actions and what I do or allow. It is never easy, but with practice it is durable. Therefore my onion days are obsolete. I have accepted my transformation and I live in my newness of every layer being moved. I have more energy and stamina because I have a new focus and goals I have set in place. Goals can't be achieved when we cover those things that hinder us. The bottom line is that I live with this disease and I'm okay with it and I have come to the place of not being unbalanced in my emotions or my daily health regiments. I live a full productive life because I removed one layer at a time. This is my “Onion Day” contribution that the decisions I make today will shape my tomorrow.
How often do you experience brain fog?