8 Occurrences that Happen When Psoriasis No Longer Controls You
Psoriasis highjacked my life when I was only 7 years old, and it came with a vengeance. The condition covered nearly 90% of my body. At first, I wasn't ashamed of the disease, I continued to wear what I wanted. Eventually, psoriasis held a gun of shame to my mind, and by the age of 10 I was figuring out ways to lie and cover my condition.
Chronic-illness Stockholm syndrome
Thereafter, psoriasis continued to hold me hostage for almost 2 decades. I tried to fight the negative thoughts, but eventually, I fell victim to a sort of chronic-illness Stockholm syndrome. It held my mind captive, controlling how I viewed myself, what I did, and how I spoke of it. The tiny voice which whispered on behalf of psoriasis told me I wasn't beautiful, gave demands on what I should and shouldn't do and ultimately made me feel bad about myself. To survive life I developed an inner alliance with the disease... If "it" told me I shouldn't wear something because I would be judged, I obliged... If "it" told me I should dodge certain places to avoid it from being seen, I listened.
Breaking free of psoriasis
Then one day I broke free. It was a gradual process which seemed to have happened overnight, but it didn't. It took a lot of time for me to find the courage, most of which was activated by the programs through the National Psoriasis Foundation. When I finally broke free from the shackles of humiliation psoriasis wrapped around my mind, I ran to a place of self-love, confidence, and inspiration -- a place I've remained for the last 8 years.
Fresh start: The impact when psoriasis no longer controls you
You start wearing what you want
You wear whatever you want and you aren't concerned about the people who may have something negative to say. For years I avoided anything which revealed my plaques. Although this continues to be somewhat of a struggle during a bad flare, I'm way more open to showing off my spots than I was two decades ago. Currently, I have a flare on my legs, but I'm still letting them hang out.
Rude comments don't impact you as much anymore
One of the reasons why I covered my psoriasis was because I was terrified of receiving or overhearing negative comments. Now I realize rude comments have nothing to do with me, but the character (or lack thereof) for the person saying it.
You start purposely flaunting your flares
Many people who are no longer controlled by psoriasis love flaunting their flares because they see it has a great conversation starter to help educate someone unfamiliar with the condition.
You feel more confident
I use to believe I was incapable of being loved or living freely with this disease. When I stopped allowing psoriasis to control my thoughts I found confidence in living my healthiest life with or without this disease. Confidence helped me with my relationships and how I treated myself.
You share your story
When the shame is lifted you will find yourself being more open to talking about psoriasis with others. As I started to love myself more I began blogging, talking to friends and family, and sharing my story with the world.
You won't mind hanging out by the pool
When my psoriasis was at it's worse, I avoided the pool at all costs. But when you stop allowing psoriasis to stop you, you might find yourself hanging out by the pool more walking around in some swim trunks or swimsuits.
You will take advantage of the spa
Many people living in shame with psoriasis avoid the spa. We are horrified by the idea of being rejected, discriminated against, or dealing with a rude encounter. But when psoriasis stops controlling you, you start to enjoy the extracurricular activities of life such as a massage or manicure.
You don't mind taking pictures
I've heard of some who avoid taking pictures because they can't stand the sight of their disease. But when you start to gain control of how you view yourself, pictures become a way to show off your spots!
How often do you experience brain fog?