We Can Learn to Love Ourselves While Also Living With Psoriasis

Living with psoriasis for as long as I have, I've learned a lot about the ins and outs of this condition. It hasn't been easy. In fact, there were days and weeks when the impact of this condition consumed me. Grieving and growing alongside psoriasis has taught me a lot.

Insecure feelings can be amplified when living with psoriasis. We're constantly worried in our heads if the outside world sees our skin before they see us. We physically can't feel comfortable in our own skin. We internalize and hesitate to get close to anyone at all. Timidness and hesitancy become a part of our personalities.

The emotional toll of psoriasis

Psoriasis has been a part of my life for decades. The biggest part of managing this chronic disease and all that comes with it is the importance of communication. Communication with our doctor, our loved ones, and ourselves.

Of course, these are lessons learned and not something that happens instantly. I've had my share of heartbreaks, heavy nights, and gloomy days. I remember feeling so excluded and different at various points in my lifetime.
There were times when I avoided social gatherings and ignored my family and friends.

I even distanced myself from my own husband; I hated the idea of making him feel uncomfortable. In addition to my suffering, he seemed to struggle with me. I convinced myself he didn't want to be with me anymore. I felt I no longer deserved a happy marriage - all because of my scaly skin and chronic pain. I felt ugly.

After doing some me-work, I realized my brain was against me. What if, instead of hating myself, I found some healthy ways to love myself? I could invite that love back in.

How my husband showed up for me.

My husband went to a doctor's appointment with me. He took it upon himself to ask the doctor about my condition. He wanted to find help for himself and for me.

My husband has been my number-one supporter since the first day I met him. Our insecurities can manifest as self-doubt. It's just not worth it. He's come to a few of my appointments - and a few different times, I kept thinking he wouldn't show or chicken out. Why do we do this to ourselves?

Not only did he show up at my doctor appointments, he learned more about my psoriatic conditions than I did. This man had never heard the word psoriasis until our first date. He never took power or control of my treatment but rather stayed with me and offered his help when he felt that I needed him.

His support gave me enough courage to take control of my own emotions. After all, it does come down to me. A true test in resiliency. But work worth doing.

Self-love is a practice, not a destination

There are people that love you and want to show up for you. You also hold the key to showing up for yourself. Your openness, vulnerability, and willingness to communicate are key to getting the support you deserve. It's scary, but you're brave. You can do this.

My husband and I decided to move forward together. When I have opportunities to advocate for myself and the psoriasis community, I know my husband is standing right by my side. In my brave decision to stop being so angry and finally be vulnerable, he has helped me in my journey to love myself.

It starts with a journey of self-love, and it will never be perfect. You just need to push off from here. We begin the process of loving ourselves; we can let go of shame, anger, and insecurity. We can accept love from others.