My Children's Thoughts Over Time About My Journey With Psoriasis

Curiosity is getting the better of me and I am on a mission to ask my children how my journey with psoriasis has impacted them. My children have been on my psoriasis journey almost as long as I have been. My psoriasis journey started one year before my oldest son, Todd, was born. Todd's journey is 25 years long with me, but he has an apartment across town and is now a married man. This article will be from Joe and Emma's point of view. Joe and I are on my path together now for 23 years now. Emma will be turning 20 this year. All of them have a part in the story.

When did you realize my skin was different? Did others ask about it?

Joe realized things were different about 7th grade. Here is what he has to say: "Ma, people approach me about why you are red. I just tell them it is your skin and it is psoriasis. No one ever really questions me more than that."

Emma says she noticed around 5th grade. "I think going to my friends houses made me realize that other friends don't have mothers that had red, scaly, itchy skin. I knew you were special. My friends ask me, but it is not a big deal." In the early years, I wanted my kids to learn about psoriasis. I try my best to teach them about psoriasis. This article discusses talking to children about it. Explaining helps to take away the stigma.

Did my psoriasis ever make you miss out?

Joe "I don't recall that. Never really noticed." Joe shrugs his shoulders. He must not remember that we didn't play cars on the floor but instead on the couch or beds. I would make obstacles out of pillows and afghans. Both of my boys did this with me. I felt badly at times because I was unable to go to the park at times when they wanted to.

Emma "I know there were times that you couldn't get play with me, but I remember my brothers playing. Auntie would also play with me too. There were enough people who kept me entertained. Thing is I didn't really feel left out or that it was missing out."

How did you feel as you got older?

Joe sits down next to me, "Well, as I got older I could tell when it was hurting or itching more. Putting lotion and medicines on your back where you couldn't reach was something all 3 of us would try to do to help you. I used to wonder why you took soaks in the tub when I was younger, but figured out it was to ease the symptoms."

Emma looked up at me and said, "When I got older, I started to see how much it hurt you. I started understanding some of the itching because I was getting it on my eyelids and in my ear canals. Once, in high school, I had to write to a senator for an assignment and I asked them to reconsider step therapy. Surprisingly enough the senator called from Washington, DC." My mind was filled emotion when I realized how much they really did notice. That phone call was shock a surprise from the senator! We were all proud.

Do you think I am a bad mom?

Emma looks up at me and said, "Seriously? No, I think you did the best you could do with your circumstances. Pretty sure all 3 of us think we turned out pretty good. Clearly, we have all done good with jobs, and education. You are a good mom. Do you think you are a good mom?" I smiled through tears and said, "I know I have made mistakes but done what I thought was my best."

Joe is shaking his head side to side in disbelief, "Of course you are a good mom. We are all good. We have been through a lot all together but we have love, a home, pets, and you. We have been through your different health things, Dad passing away, and other issues but we are all together. We all love one another. We all graduated high school, have jobs and everything is good. Now stop this nonsense!"

Learning about myself

These simple questions have taught me my children's point of view of being a psoriasis family. All my fears that my children would one day hate me for not being able to be a perfect looking, acting mom are gone. What surprised me was the view they had the whole journey.

For them, psoriasis was something in their life but did not ruin their lives. In many ways, I think we are closer family. We have adjusted to how it affects us. 2 out of 3 of my kids have a mild form of plaque psoriasis. Emma has the start of psoriatic arthritis. Todd has a touch of psoriasis on his eyelids and knees.