Handling the Emotional Ups and Downs of Living With a Chronic Illness

Living with a chronic illness is hard. Every day comes with its triumphs and other days, its challenges. There is no one way to feel emotionally when it comes to managing day to day. It has taken a lot for me personally to accept that some days are just not going to be okay. I am typically positive and optimistic. I am learning that I do not have to present to everyone that I am always okay, especially when I am not. Vulnerability has allowed me to experience more within my relationships. I probably would have never experienced this before.

Navigating moments of feeling good

I absolutely love the moments where I feel completely free. There are no plaques, no flakes from my scalp. I have energy and I am on top of the world! The energy part is especially amazing since I am always fatigued. Something does happen to me inside that may be weird to some with these ups.

When I am experiencing good moments, I sometimes begin to feel bad or unworthy of mentoring. I feel bad that the ones I am supporting are dealing with it worse off than me. In those moments where the "imposter syndrome" feelings creep in, I have to center myself. Often, I remind myself of where I came from, and how those experiences will help others.

Immediately, I begin to reflect on the gratitude I have for being in a moment where I am "up". My story matters and has purpose. Just because I may not be in an active flare does not negate my experiences, or how I can help others. It can actually bring them hope.

Addressing the lows of chronic illness

Contrary to popular belief, I experience major lows with my psoriasis. I have had issues with my self-esteem for sure. Having plaques all over my body was difficult. Losing the majority of my hair was also difficult. I know that many others experience similar challenges.

It is not talked about enough, but anxiety and depression are real with chronic illness. My journal in those moments became my safe space. My support group, Sistas with Psoriasis, also became a safe space. Having others to connect with has made a difference. I still struggle at times with my self-confidence, but including positive affirmations daily has been truly helpful.

Confronting the challenge of fatigue

Fatigue is a monster I truly can not stand. It does more to me than make me feel tired. It is such a challenge to get work done. Doing things for myself or even my family also becomes a challenge. It also impacts how I feel emotionally when I am dealing with what feels like defeat. Of all of the downs I could experience, fatigue is the most challenging. Although I am not giving up, there are times where I have to allow myself the space to rest.

Over the years, especially as things progressed with my condition, I have learned to navigate the ups and downs. I appreciate and take full advantage of the times that are great. I still pace myself when I am feeling good so that I am not overextended. Making good use of my time and energy has almost become religious for me! I relish in all those moments offer, and I remind myself that I still can be a support to others.

Giving myself grace during difficult times

In the downs, I give myself grace and understanding. It is in those moments I ask for help and accept that it is okay to rest. These days, I do not get down on myself regarding my appearance. I try to do things to make me feel better. I take moments to reflect by writing or doing affirmations.

Ultimately, the ups and downs of the emotions experienced with chronic illness are similar to regular old life challenges. There are moments where we soar, and times where things are just meh. It is all a part of our stories.

Finding inner strength and support

I believe we do hold power within ourselves to push through anything that comes our way. We can take all the great things from the good moments as reminders. Those good moments exist. It is those things we should tell ourselves in our down times. Tough times are only temporary, and we have got this. When we do not believe we have got it, lean in on those in your corner. It is okay to not be okay, and it is absolutely okay to acknowledge when you need more help.