A woman rolling out cookie dough in the shape of a broken heart. The woman's skin is cracked and flaking.

Psoriasis Stealing Quality Time

During my last mega flare, I felt like the worst parent. I lost my temper quickly with the children, even when they had done nothing out of the ordinary.

I tried to compensate for my short temper. Compensate for not cuddling my kids on the sofa (the warmth made the itching worse) and we had pizza on repeat as itch-inducing insomnia ate away at my energy levels and motivation.

Changing my idea of quality time

I was desperate for quality time to show my kids that I really cared. That I appreciated their empathetic approach to my suffering. That I valued them even if I was more cross than I was cuddly.

I wanted those quality time movie moments where everyone sits drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows while sharing happy stories, playing board games without anyone accusing big brother of cheating (again) and enjoying mealtimes together.

What is quality time?

Reading an email by author Ryan Holiday, I realize that I talk a lot about wanting quality time with my kids. Those moments rarely end up being of great quality. In fact, I end up disappointed that things didn’t work out as they should.

My son screaming bloody murder instead of chatting enthusiastically. My daughter telling me she doesn’t like her meal when I have organized childcare for a mommy-daughter date at her favorite restaurant. My kids than telling me the best holiday we ever went on was the night we spent at the airport hotel because there was a breakfast buffet.

Quality time is the small stuff

It’s mundane everyday life. Sneaking off for a hot chocolate on the way to the supermarket, finding my son reading my favorite kid’s book and my daughter requesting we bake a cake right now. And why not? A cake really only takes 5 minutes to prep for the oven, am I really too busy to do it?

Psoriasis is a time thief

There’s no denying psoriasis can be a time thief. Time is taken for moisturizing, scale soaking baths and application of medication.

Not to mention time off for doctor and hospital appointments. Of course, there is the time spent googling ‘why me’ and ‘what is the best treatment for psoriasis’? Even though I have read the first three pages of google many times for each of these inquiries.

Taking quality time back from psoriasis

I used to be hostile for the time the disease has stolen from my family, from my husband, and from my kids. It has stolen a lot. On reflection though, if I am honest- those magical moments are still there.

I may not be the active instigator, but as the matriarch of our family, most of the experiences are facilitated by me. I am, directly and indirectly, enjoying these smaller moments. These mundane moments in my kid’s lives, I am achieving what I wanted all along.

The quality time I seek is happening around me every day. It’s just the movies hadn’t trained me to see it.

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