I'll Be There for You, Psoriasis Friend

Last updated: February 2020

Do you know someone who suffers from psoriasis or psoriatic arthritis? Are you family, lovers, friends or even just housemates?  I know that watching someone you care about suffer from something you cannot control or fix is one of the most difficult things in the world.

You are not as powerless as you think you are. In fact, I am almost 100% positive that by the time you are done reading this you will be reminded of how much there is that you can actually do. Being on both sides of this situation, this helped me figure out it’s truly the small and consistent things that make up the big things in our lives.

Ways to support a loved one with psoriasis

Being caught up in a flare is terrible, painful, exhausting and infuriating. We are often rude when we do not mean to be. Almost forgetting or being too proud to ask for help, we are in dire need of care even though we will probably not admit it. Feeling like a burden to those around us.

Not because that is how they make us feel, but because it is simply how we feel. Please try not to take this personally. Then I also know that being on the other side of this is hard. You want to help, you are not sure what to do or when to do it, you feel lost.

Here are some ideas of how to help and be there for the one you love when it feels like the world is falling on their head.

Show love & support

Do not wait to be asked for help, if you can see the person is suffering. Do something about it. Trash still has to go out, kids need to be dressed, dinner needs to be made and lunches need to be packed. Step up and just do it. Throw the trash out, help dress the kids and order take out.

You can do the shopping and cook a meal. Do the things you can see will be an extra hard task for that person. This is such a big step towards us beginning to feel better, almost like:  “oh wow they noticed how badly I am feeling and look at the effort they are putting in to help me. I feel so loved right now”

Be gentle and kind, you do not have to tell them every 5 minutes how sorry you are that they are hurting. Be aware that they might need a little more kindness than they normally do.

Psoriasis trigger

Try not to get angry if they are curt with you or rude. By no means do I suggest that you should stand for verbal abuse. Please do not misunderstand me, verbal abuse, in fact, abuse of any kind never okay. You should always seek help for this.  

Speaking for myself, when I have not slept and my skin and joints are sore, I tend to be a bit quick on the trigger. I do not intend to be like that, it just happens. I blurt something out and within seconds I feel like the worst person on earth. It comes out a lot harsher than it intended.

Now this does not condone me reacting like this at all and I truly go out of my way to make sure it does not happen. It does though and please understand that it is not necessarily directed at you.

Empathy & support

Put yourself in their shoes. For one moment, think about what would make your days easier. What would make your heart smile when you are in pain?  When you are trying to be strong and cope, how would you want someone to treat you if you were feeling alone, emotionally tired, despondent and sore?

If you just stop and think about it I am almost sure there are a few things you can think of to do. They will help you feel like you are doing something and they will certainly assist the person working through with their flare.

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