The Things My Psoriasis Has Gifted Me
Of all things that I think I have lost along the way with my psoriasis, I have gained so much more. When you tell most people that they give you this look that says “you have got to be kidding me.” But Alas, I kid you not. Life is a book of lessons, each one teaching us something that we never knew before. I never believed that getting sick and being diagnosed with an incurable disease, would gift me these beautiful things. Through the dark days and the hard days, try and see the good that shines through, a silver lining, even if it is caused by the silver scales on your skin.
Self-acceptance
Learning to accept your skin is one of the most rewarding things you will ever do for yourself and in turn for the people around you. I would hide in my apartment and stay put for weeks on end. I did not want to leave and bare other people’s stares, the whispers as people walk by. For me it took a fellow sufferer baring her skin to show me that it was okay, to be okay with my skin. I seemed to think that if I was okay with my skin that it would mean I don’t want to get better. Can I just set this straight for you, its total nonsense! Being okay with your skin is okay, it just means that while you are on this journey you are okay with yourself. My advice, look for and find the moment that does this for you. You will never look back.
Skin deep relations
When I was first diagnosed, my skin was terrible, hardly a space between my bright red lesions. I quickly learned the difference between my real friends and the ones whose judgmental tendencies were shallower than I ever realized. It was hard to learn this lesson and to see who was not comfortable being around me when I was at my worst. It was a lesson well learnt though. I was soon able to tell the difference between real and fake. Bare your skin, out in public with people who are not accustomed to it. In my experience one of two things happen, they either carry on as if nothing has changed. They will be uncomfortable and probably want to leave early. I know which people are my people.
Gratitude
Never ever take your health for granted. I did more often that what I care to admit. I can tell you that now, I do to try my best not to. Every day when my toes touch the ground, I am grateful. Looking after myself has never come easy and this is no different. I do my best though every single day, making better decisions for my health and my heart.
Fight
I learned how to fight for myself, how to never give up. I have for the last 12 years and will continue to keep trying to find my magic. I try treatments one after the other, I do not give up. I fight the good fight for myself and my daughter, my health and for the people who I advocate for every day. Please always remember that you are worth the fight. This lesson has carried through my life into many aspects.
Sometimes it is hard to see through fog of pain and suffering, I know. Just look a little deeper, I am sure you will find something good, something to be thankful for.
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