A Psoriasis Wedding Dilemma

What is your favorite thing about a wedding? Of course, there is the sharing of the love and celebrating that your friends and family are uniting publicly…but then there is the bride.

For me, it is like an addiction from childhood, manufactured by big movie houses. Girl goes upstairs with a terrible fringe, Christmas jumper and ill-fitting glasses and returns with plucked eyebrows, glossy styled hair and a skin-tight designer frock. That wow! Who knew she was in there…hot!

As someone with an intentional collection of Christmas jumpers, and several pairs of ill-fitting spectacles I suspect that there is a touch too much anticipation for my transformation on December 1st. My wedding day.

I did employ a hairdresser to come and trial my wedding hair idea plucked from a stylish magazine. My mother's reaction told me she was not impressed. ‘It looks like you did it yourself’ is not what one wants to hear when daydreaming about the transition to beautiful swan.

Should I treat my psoriasis before my wedding?

I hear you- who wants to know about Christmas jumpers (though seriously…do you have one!?)

My dilemma is this: the original plan was to go 'au natural.' My status when I made this decision was what I refer to as ‘101 Dalmation’ as in, I have spots all over, but they are happy where they are- not flaky, or itchy and most importantly not impacting my mental health. Great. I'm here most of the time. This is my normal. I thought I would keep things authentic.

But now? Its four weeks until my wedding. I have got more stress than is optimal. The increased consumption of pathogens, caffeine, and sugar are not helping. The spots have started joining and its altogether moving from kinda cute differentiated patterned skin to a map of some foreign land.

This is less of a great look, I'm starting to worry about my dress- its semi-backless and I have lost that inner strike of human flesh down the middle of my back. I have considered that it may distract from my terrible ‘home-made' hairstyle (which I'm dreading I will get from my last minute hairdresser). Is it what I want?

Should I trick my guests or treat myself?

Trick: Spend a generous amount of time in the bath pre-ceremony and then invest in a complicated moisturizing-clingwrap affair followed by some kind of makeup which will probably ruin my dress and my confidence. I keep thinking about those girls with acne who look incredible when you see them without their makeup…and then they hide their beauty with 17 layers of foundation. I don't want to be that girl…and then I find myself googling ‘stage makeup’ and think that maybe I do.

Treat: There are currently two large bags of steroid-based topical treatments on my bedside table. They have been there for two weeks, and something is stopping me from opening them. I cannot decide whether it is a fact I know that I will flare when I stop using them (so, of course, I am considering whether it is worth it). My doctor did prescribe a (new for me) regimen that should minimize this post-treatment flare so it may actually work, but I struggle to have faith. I also feel like I am being a bit of a con- why do I need clear skin for my wedding anyway? Is it O.K to clear my skin for one day? Am I succumbing to the glossy magazine portrayal of a bride (I already let my mum convince me trainers (AKA sneakers) were not ok for the ceremony this week)?

I asked my fiancée

O.K, he asked me. Two paper bags on a bedside table can lead to questions.

I told him I was going to clear my skin for the wedding. He asked why I babbled something. He told me he loved me the way I was and thought it was a terrible idea.

And yet I sit here thinking, do I trick myself into believing that I want to show off my psoriasis at my wedding (but in its best possible form) or treat psoriasis- albeit for a short period of time?

I still have no idea.