Over the years many, many people have asked me the question: How are you so at peace with your skin? How do you handle having psoriasis so well? Don’t you care what others think about you? How do you deal with the remarks? Clair, you always seem so accepting of your skin, how do I get to be like that, how do I stop hating my skin? Look, to be honest, I have read so many books, articles, and heard a hundred stories about how people have found their peace. Doing it myself was one of the hardest journeys and by far the most worthy.
The catalyst for finding peace
For me, it was one woman, whom I am friends with still today who showed me that it was alright to be okay with your skin, as a result, you did not have to hate it. She showed me that just because your skin looked like the paving of the road to hell did not mean you had to feel that way about it. I was hiding out in my apartment, starting to go into full hermit mode, and there she was worlds away, dancing in a cabaret. A woman of strength, furthermore she is now a mom of three. In the quiet moments of my darkest times, she was my light showing me life after whatever it was I was going through. It has been a long and often treacherous road, but here I am standing slightly askew, but peaceful.
Finding peace isn't always easy
People often have a misguided perception, that I am always happy, bright and positive. Let me clear that up for you, I am not always a congenial ray of sunshine. Oftentimes I can be found grouchy and just feeling like it is all too much for me. I can whine with the best of them at times and stand strong on other days. For me learning to accept the fact that sometimes there just is not a silver lining or a positive spin on things was so freeing. I would often find myself berating my journey and my situation, just because someone has it worse. This does not mean I am ungrateful, in fact, it is the exact opposite, I know that there are people who are worse off than me. I just also now recognize that it does not take away from what I am going through at the time. The same goes for you.
Keeping supportive people in my life
My motto from when I started this journey was that the people who truly loved me for who I am will not be bothered by how my skin looks. If this is a concern for their fragile egos, they can leave my life anyway as they are not the type of people I would like to keep around. I have used this like a mantra. Something I still need to remind myself many years on is that the kind of people I want in my life, would not judge me or anyone else. As for the rest of them, they can think what they want, I wear clothes that make me feel comfortable and bring my the least amount of pain, skin showing...ready or not here I come.
Finding my peace
Last but not least I find my peace as I am searching for wholeness instead of happiness. I do not want to be happy all the time, life throws us too many curveballs. Take each experience as it comes, allow yourself to feel it fully and then move along. This goes for the good, the bad and everything in between. I am now striving to be as kind to myself as I am to others.
How do you feel about your psoriasis in the emerging spring time? (Select all that apply)
Join the conversation