Psoriasis Acceptance or Psoriasis Healing?
Most of my time is spent thinking about psoriasis and creating daily routines that will improve my healing process. Thoughts range from moisturizers, soft clothing and diet.
As a total psoriasis geek, I invest a lot of time learning about psoriasis and its triggers. I read articles about antioxidants and anthocyanins. I know what a meta-analysis is and why it’s a great source of actual facts. Finding the optimum path for my healing takes a decent chunk of my time and my thoughts.
And why not?
Cynical nature of psoriasis
I want to wear what I want. I crave the thought of not itching. I dream about taking my kid to the swimming pool party without having to educate the rest of the parent population. I've even thought about simply writing ‘it’s not chicken pox’ down my arm to save time over the risk of being identified as insane.
Even though I manage my psoriasis well most of the time, I am still vulnerable to the cynical nature of psoriasis.
Choosing not to focus on healing
I find myself in the midst of a post-partum flare thanks to a grotty combination of a tooth infection, microbiome annihilation (from antibiotics), and sleep deprivation. Whilst not being happy about this flare, I am surprised to find that I have accepted the fact that my skin isn’t great.
Unlike almost every other time my skin has worsened, this time I have made peace with the fact that even though I know how to alleviate my symptoms, I am choosing not too.
When acceptance overcame healing
Instead of cramming my mouth full of sulfur-based veggies and other such gold star nutritional practices, I am choosing to indulge like an unsupervised ten-year-old.
I am going to sit on my sofa drinking tea with dipping biscuits instead of exercising. I am going to eat chocolate and hug my newborn baby instead of making a salad. For now, cereal is a meal for any time of day - and also a snack. And potatoes? Tomatoes? Other nightshades? Well, you can join right in. Because at this moment in my life, it’s worth the payoff in my skin.
I shared my newfound acceptance in my Instagram feed and was surprised at the positive rally cries I got from my psoriasis friends. One cheered "Congratulations Mama! So proud of you for your amazing self-kindness and understanding that ‘this too shall pass’... you are amazing!"
I also found so much support from fellow psoriasis warriors for sharing vulnerability online. I was only able to do this because I had accepted where I am right now. Comments include: “Thank you for sharing the normality of living with psoriasis. Sometimes I feel like I’ve failed because I’m flaring but reading your post helped me so much."
Investing in psoriasis self-acceptance
It is much easier for me to be kind to myself because I just had a baby and society is encouraging me to take care of myself. I think that as soon as I am expected to be back to my prenatal self. Indulging will no longer be acceptable and then I think I will start to feel less accepting of my skin.
It pains me that so much of the mental anguish I have experienced with psoriasis is not a symptom of psoriasis itself, but a symptom of the society we live in.
What I do know for sure is this: a day will come where I feel eating what I want to the detriment of my skin is not okay. And that is okay. In our psoriasis life, nothing is stable or easy to predict, investing in self-acceptance is perhaps one of the most valuable things we can do.
How often do you experience brain fog?