My Biggest Fears Become a Reality
I started my second biologic 2 years ago after the first one refused to work for me. I was excited about the opportunity of having another chance at clear skin. The biologic required me to use it twice within the first 2 months and then after that, I would receive a dosage every 3 months which I received from my doctor. Before this medicine, my body was 90% covered with psoriasis. I tried all types of treatments which failed and gave me zero relief.
After about 4 weeks of being on this particular medicine, I went from being 90% covered to about 60% covered. My upper body cleared first. After about 9 months and 3 injections, I was almost 90% clear. I still had some stubborn spots on my legs which refused to go away. Although I still had a few plaques of psoriasis I was 100% satisfied with my results. As long as I could at least wear a short sleeve shirt and not have to suffer from continuous itching at night I was satisfied. But there were some major concerns about the future of my health I considered.
I worried about...
What if the medicine stopped working?
What if I experienced the side effects from the biologic?
What if I have to stop using the medicine?
Well within 1 year and 8 months of using my treatment, my biggest fears became a reality. My biologic stopped working. I first noticed when I started to see new spots of psoriasis appear shortly after I received my injection. Initially, when I first started the treatment I would only see new spots every 3 months which indicated it was time for my next injection. Now, I was seeing new spots in less than 90 days.
Taking my health in my own hands, without my doctor's permission I decided to stop the biologic on my own accord. This was a mistake which I'll outline in another post. I tried a gluten free diet for about 3 months which didn't work for me at all. Finally, I made an appointment with my doctor to talk to her about the next steps.
My dermatologist received approval to increase my dosage and to give it to me every 2 months opposed to every 3 months. While this method kept my psoriasis at bay for a while, it didn't help improve the current spots, but I didn't see any new spots until about 6 months later. Now the biologic really isn't working at all. I'm seeing new spots at a more rapid rate every day.
My doctor has decided to put me on a new biologic which was approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration a few years ago. In clinical trials the medicine yielded some great results, but the data for these treatments only go back 10 years or less. I fear possible side effects 20 years from now.
Another fear I face that is unrelated to treatment is meeting someone new. Currently, I'm about 60% covered with spots, the most affected part are my legs. I fear meeting a potential spouse in the state I am in now and it possibly worsening. I wonder what they will think? If they will still accept me? Will they be grossed out?
Last but not least I worry about being more depressed after a failed biologic than the depression I faced prior to my treatment. Before this injection I didn't know what it was like to have psoriasis free skin, all I knew was psoriasis. But now I've had a taste of what it's like to live psoriasis free and I'm afraid that if I go back to the condition of my skin before this medicine my depression will be worse than it has ever been.
What are you grateful for in your psoriasis experience? (Select all that apply)
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