"Are You Bleaching Your Skin?"

I have had more treatments for psoriasis in my life than I can remember. I've had psoriasis for the past 6 decades. There was a point in my life where this disease was the most debilitating experience I have ever had. We would have very hot summers where I lived, sometimes scorching. There were times when my hands and neck were the most affected. Can you imagine wearing long sleeves and something around my neck in 100-degree weather? This was so humiliating and embarrassing for me.

"Are you bleaching your skin?"

Can you imagine the sweat and sting that I would endure? At the time I worked in an office environment. Just interacting with many people each day was not a good thing. Can you imagine people staring at why I was wearing a turtleneck in such hot temperatures? I once considered quitting my job and starting a business of my own. But was encouraged by close relatives to persevere and turn a deaf ear to the lookers.

Over the years I received different treatments that were far superior to the ones I was using at home. I remember many years ago using a medication that caused my skin to peel and my clothes to become discolored. It was so uncomfortable every day. This medication caused my face to become lighter to the point that people would ask if I was bleaching my skin. This was extremely uncomfortable to me as a black woman.

People can say rude things

The most challenging aspect of psoriasis is its impact on me. I remember having sharp chest pains that could last for several seconds, making me motionless. They never last for long. If I were holding something fragile, that would be the end of that.

I haven’t had one of those attacks in years, but I’m always cautious because I just don’t know when it'll happen again. I've grown accustomed to my condition, and now when someone inquires about it, I'm prepared with an answer.

People can be ugly and say things that make us mad. I remember a friend asking me over 40 years ago if I had syphilis or wasn't cleaning myself thoroughly. This was enough to make me feel like a misfit in society. I’m surprised that I made it this far in life without falling apart.

Learning to accept my psoriasis

Over time, I did learn to accept myself and focus on my purpose. I no longer care what people say to my face or behind my back. I came out of hiding a long time ago and finally found my voice. My family and friends adore me, and they inspire me to always be myself. I've gained confidence over the years and finally learned to be my own best advocate.

It feels good attending large groups of people and not always in my long sleeves and pants. I have not been able to clear my psoriasis with any of the treatments I have tried, but I have been able to keep it under control. This disease is not the end of the world for me. Thank God I finally woke up and started to live my life and not worry about what people have to say.

We are all in this together.