So Many Insecurities That Come With Psoriasis

My psoriasis began many years ago. My dad said that as far as he can remember, it started with dandruff, or so he thought. They tried to treat me with home remedies, but he said the discomfort became severe and the flakes were just falling off everywhere.

I remember visiting a doctor who prescribed some sort of shampoo, but nothing changed. My parents would wash my hair, but as soon as it dried, I would get flakes all over again.

Getting diagnosed with psoriasis

They noticed spots on my hairline that became increasingly irritating and flaky, as well as across my face, particularly on my nose and chin. I was taken to a hospital and that's when I was diagnosed with psoriasis. This was my first day of school.

This dermatologist encouraged me to be aware of what causes it and when. I was told not to stress. I was 6 years old, not sure how much stress I had at that age. He told my parents that certain weather conditions could aggravate my psoriasis.

I did prefer warm weather to cold seasons. We grew up on a farm but didn’t realize that certain foods, such as dairy and poultry made me itch like crazy. It was many decades later before I put two and two together.

Hiding from the world

Psoriasis turned my life upside down for years. If it hadn't been for counseling and meeting people with psoriasis and other unpleasant chronic ailments, I wouldn't be here telling you my story today. I hid a lot from the world.

My psoriasis was quite severe, but it was the public's reaction that I despised the most. Some were curious and would stare. Others gave unwanted advice such as using this cream, or this herb, or see this doctor, and do this and that.

Of course, I had the public watch me with disgusting eyes. Most would just ignore me, making me introverted to this day. I also believe that if it hadn't been for this illness, I would have been in a better place.

Struggling with poor self esteem

I worked for the government, but when promotions came up. Guess what, I wouldn’t apply because of shame. One day a supervisor asked me why I didn’t apply for a promotion. I gave her a flipped answer, but she knew why. I’m still happy to this day that she knew my self-worth and wasn’t concerned about my skin. She promoted me because we knew I could do the job. It had nothing to do with my skin.

Over the years I have turned down invitations to events. Every time something like this comes up, I give many reasons not to go. I dreaded knowing that people gossiped about me.

I've struggled with poor self-esteem, and it took me many years to get over this. Meeting other individuals with psoriasis gave me hope again, and I was able to have a great career, family, and friends.

Experiencing many ups and downs

Since my diagnosis, I have had my ups and downs. I’m just starting to get over the worst psoriasis flare I have had in 20 years. I have seen 3 doctors and none of them know why I’m having such a bad flare, I was over 80% covered.

You would be happy to know that when I did go out. I didn’t cover up anymore, was happy and comfortable in my own skin. Over the years, I have learned how to live with psoriasis.  It’s a trip that I hope I'll be able to complete without feeling insecure anymore.

We are all in this together.