Last updated: July 2020
Do you remember in English class when the teacher would write the first part of a sentence - and as diligently (or lazily) as you could, you would mindlessly complete them?
In the summer holidays I...
My favorite color is...
I thought it would be interesting to see what my thoughts were on psoriasis - if I didn't have a time limit and I didn't know anyone was going to read it.
The results were surprising.
I think I have undervalued the tool that my teacher shared with me when I was in class 3.
Starting to describe psoriasis
I confess that I started with some expletives; I won't share those with you here. Then I settled into a rant. Most writing starts off ropey and that's ok.
Psoriasis is not a straight line
Straight lines are so easy. They are soothing almost in their simplicity. They are easy to draw and easy to understand.
They mark social rules (stand in line) and starting points (the starting line).
Psoriasis is a squiggle. Its what happens when you lose your temper while writing with a smooth writing gel pen.
Psoriasis is like the necklace that used to be straight, but then you left in a drawer and somehow - without you touching it, has evolved into a knotted thing that resembles a necklace only in your memory.
Sitting down, after a few deep breaths to calm yourself, you diligently work away and untangle the mess you didn't realize had accumulated in the depths of the jewellery den.
Until you succeed -and celebrate! And the order has once again been restored. Straight lines again. A breath of relief and you carefully replace the necklace in the drawer...and somehow it tangles back up again.
Psoriasis is like a tangled necklace
I think I have its measure; I get how to straighten it out and then it punishes me when I'm not looking.
I realize I'm at a point where I'm itching my head at night wondering why I didn't try to address this sooner. Overriding my thoughts in denial... Its….BACK.
Then I realize I have got it all wrong. After a deviation writing about denial, avoiding problems and childbirth, I'm back at psoriasis and straight lines again, and I realize I have got it all wrong.
Psoriasis isn't a series of knots and kinks in my gold plated jewelry.
Psoriasis IS the necklace. It's the straight line.
Stress, lack of sleep, and diet impacting psoriasis
If psoriasis is the necklace, then the knots are problems on the way — stress, lack of sleep and eating marshmallows for breakfast.
And suddenly I feel more at peace.
If psoriasis is the necklace, then the kinks are more manageable. They are under my control. I feel like I have more power to control them.
I can book an appointment with a nutritionist.
I can go to bed earlier to the soothing tones of Stephen Fry reading Sherlock Holmes
I can order a ready-made food box to make sure I eat more vegetables.
I can bin the marshmallows... Or at least invest time in preparing something more wholesome to start my day.
How would you describe psoriasis?
Seeing psoriasis as the problem makes things harder.
It masks clarity.
It breeds overwhelm.
It sequesters hope (and sells it to snake oil salespeople).
Why don't you have a go? Lock yourself away with a different colored pen to your' work pen' and brew a cup of tea and see where your thoughts take you.
Are you recently diagnosed with psoriasis?