I Can See You

Everybody knows that eyes are the organs in the head through which we are all blessed to see. Amazingly, our eyes have the ability to observe, stare, glance, view and describe things. Our eyes can tell us our looks, characteristics, appearance and give us a definition of what we look like.

My entire life I've been fortunate enough to have my eyesight. I've looked at my psoriasis for 50 years and can tell you in every detail the color, what it looks and feels like. I can also say there have been days in my life that I hated being able to see what my psoriasis look like. I know some of you can relate to this. I would close my eyes and pray, maybe when I open them up my psoriasis would be gone. Of course, this never happened. My eyeballs showed it all.

I want to share my personal thoughts on what it would be like if my psoriasis could see me.

If psoriasis could see us...

I have had plaque psoriasis, erythrodermic psoriasis, and guttate psoriasis. I had to look at all of these with my eyes my whole life. I think a lot of people don't see the psychological ramifications when we look at this disease on our bodies and know there’s not a thing you can do to make it go away. You have a feeling of being stuck with this disease making the best of it.

If my psoriasis had eyes, it would pull me to the side and say, “Diane, can’t you see that I am swollen, itchy and irritated; please stop picking at me; I will bleed?” My psoriasis would see that it was very dry and thick, and could see its redness lurking to get out. My psoriasis would see layers and layers of dried cracked skin that would appear with layers and layers of buildup of psoriasis.

My psoriasis would see that when it’s treated it would sometimes disappear, but never permanently; see this disease has no cure. Sometimes it would come back with a vengeance. Over the many years, I’ve had spontaneous breakouts just showing up out of nowhere. I never knew when. I’ve always had to be ready.

My erythrodermic psoriasis would cover 90% of my body. It would join together like one big plaque. My psoriasis would see me as a horrible mess that needed medical attention at once and crying out for help. I could see my whole body covered in a buildup of painful bloody plaques.

All eyes on us

Paranoia would set in and the eyes of psoriasis would think, why is everyone staring at me? Stop pointing!! I need to run and cover up. I can’t be seen like this. Can someone call the doctor or something? I can’t take it. I feel like my skin is on fire. What did they just say?

The more psoriasis saw its self, the more it hated it and how it was making him feel. It saw all type of emotions from, fear, low self-esteem, sadness, and distrust.

In my closing, I’d like to make mention that if psoriasis had eyes, I can guarantee you it wouldn’t like what it saw. My purpose of telling this story in this way is to show that no matter how bad your condition is, it will come with looks, stares, and questions.

I’ve come to the conclusion that at the end of the day. I’ve got to look at myself and I’ve come to appreciate me and who I am. I thank Health Union for the opportunity to use this platform to share my stories. We are in a world where people will stare because they don’t understand.

I’m used to it and if psoriasis had eyes, it would see that I have done everything I can to take care of myself and what a great advocate I have become for this disease. I’m glad my psoriasis can see.