Finding Indifference to Psoriasis Onlookers

I never believed that indifference could be a good thing. I always felt that you need to be passionate about everything. Whether you with it or against it, did not matter to me, you just had to feel it deeply.

Defending my cause

Can you guys see how this could be a problem? I never did. I loved and despised deeply for years. I loved with all my heart and gave so freely of myself. When people made snide comments about my skin, I would bite back with something that would leave them regretting their comment. The thing is though, that it never left me feeling any better.

Sure at that moment I was victorious in my mind. And more importantly, it had made me feel as though I had defended my cause.

It always starts with a look

There was a huge life lesson to be handed down to me in all of this. One that would serve me well, in the coming years. One day in a supermarket a lady was giving me one of those looks that made me feel so sad inside. She was shuffling herself away from me.

I caught her whispering behind her hand while she and her family were staring at me and my skin. In my head, I could only imagine what they were saying. Before long the sadness had successfully turned into a fit of deep seething anger and I was ready as always to bite back.

The decision to say something

Defiantly and angrily I walked up to her. I promise you that this was not what she was expecting. Her eyes were the size of saucers and she was frozen in the spot. Fortunately, before I opened my mouth, my boiling rage turned into complete sadness. Like the pot had boiled over and was no longer threatening to spill over the edge.

Smiling gently, I looked her straight in the face and told her that the way she was behaving was making me feel really hurt and sad. So while I was living with an autoimmune condition that was beyond my control, the very last thing that I needed was to come to the store to get my groceries and be made to feel this way by someone who probably knows nothing about it.

When anger turned to sadness

The tears welled up in my eyes and began to spill down my cheeks. As I spoke, I could see the guilt written all over her face. This was coming straight from my heart. I can tell you we both learned a lesson that day.

Once I was done I left her and her family standing there still staring at me, but differently. No more snide whispers just the look of disbelief. Things changed for me that day, the way I felt about people staring at my skin and the way I reacted.

Accepting indifference

Indifference to me means a lack of interest or concern. I deal with enough on a day to day basis. So I no longer allow stranger's comments and looks to get to me as much.

Some days they make me sad, sometimes it really hurts. I will often just shake my head and make sure they see me. I hope this reminds them that it is actually not okay to behave that way. I just no longer allow it to affect me on such an emotional level.