Psoriasis and Intimacy
Last updated: April 2023
A recent encounter left me wondering: What is it about intimacy that is so hard when you have psoriasis?
Why is it that even when our lovers are accepting, we still struggle? When you are on the outside looking in, it may seem trivial and even silly. This is only because you do think or feel as sensitively as we do.
Thoughts about psoriasis and intimacy
We're not trying to leave you feeling annoyed. Many of us struggle to put our feelings into words. We know that sometimes it is not even rational. However, our thoughts do not stop it from feeling less real.
Step into my world for just a moment, let me offer you some perspective of what it is like for us. Maybe it will help you understand your lover a little better...
Psoriasis on the brain
In general body image is something that we as humans struggle with. Societal norms make it hard to keep up with what we think our bodies should look like, The ever-changing airbrushed bodies making us more insecure by the day. Without a doubt, this is something that people who have psoriasis, fight with on a deeper level.
Many of us have made peace with our bodies and how they look adorned with red spots and flakes. Yet when we look at them, there is always that feeling in our hearts that it still is not good enough. What people may not always realize is that we don't like the way it looks either. Here's my point: just because we accept it does not mean we like it.
Beware of psoriasis plaques
A simple stroke of the hand in the wrong direction could send us writhing in pain. Importantly the mere anticipation of this happening can leave us feeling anxious. This can put a real damper when in the moment. On the flip side, sometimes we are able to tolerate a little more discomfort.
No interaction is the same. We won't handle the situation the same every time. These dynamics can leave us being very complex beings. Please try to remember and understand that every day is different for us.
Psoriasis in all the wrong places
I dream of feeling you kissing my shoulder and running your hands, no wait, there is psoriasis there. Okay, I got it, my legs, no wait, there is psoriasis there too.
While the fantasy of intimacy is great, the idea of someone kissing my dry skin isn't the most arousing. It is daunting, to say the least. Also, that lovely lingerie I bought has caused a god awful flare. I feel terrible, I had it all planned out so nicely and in one moment it has gone to hell.
The most important part of intimacy
A big part of good intimacy is being vulnerable. Put your cards on the table well beforehand so you can be in the moment and enjoy it, rather than worrying about what might happen or what your partner is thinking. Simply sharing your concerns can be enough to ease them.
Sometimes it is so hard for me to accept that you see past my skin. Please know that this has nothing to do with you and how you make me feel. This has everything to do with my insecurities and the way I feel about my skin and how it looks.
Is skin management a priority in your psoriasis experience? (Select all that apply)
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