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Losing a Support Person

Losing a support person when you have a chronic health condition like psoriasis can cause mental strain. Even when you are unaware how much you think you can handle it. Let me explain. Soon my oldest son will be moving to Canada. Though I am very proud of who he is, I can't help but be stressed. Knowing that he is moving on to a new and exciting chapter of his life helps. Once he got married to his wife I knew that he would be moving. My heart of course is proud and thrilled to have a new daughter in law.

Although mentally, there is a part of my mind wondering about the support I am losing. Also, knowing that this is all new to him stresses me.

No stranger to loss

My kids and I have been through an awful lot. Todd is a big support though he was a kid during my divorce he would give me extra hugs and help entertain his younger brother and sister. Todd has a great sense of humor and it lightened up some pretty heavy moments. Later I met and married the man that my children would call their father. Tim was an amazing man and taught my kids how to be there to support each other and me.

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Unfortunately, my second husband passed away from a failed kidney transplant 5 years after we married. After the loss of his dad, Todd, became a father figure for his siblings in the way of being a big brother. I was lost in grief. Sickness brought on by infection and flares were ruling my life. Family surrounded me with support. Todd helped in every way, from getting me out of bed if the pain is bed, applying medications, and supplying lots of laughter.

Not cut off but A change in geography

My son is turning 27 now. Seems like just yesterday. Though he moved out a few years ago he is always a phone call away. Now he will be a day or so away. Okay, I admit it doesn't sound so bad. Now that he is going to be with his family starting his new life I feel like I need to be sure I don't burden him with my issues. Having chronic illnesses makes me think of the future. In some ways I always know that if my body fails to perform normal life duties, I have a backup in my oldest son.

When I struggle I always tell him even though I have had so much improvement these past four years. Usually, he supports me mentally assuring me it won't last. Today his brother Josh reminded me that he is still a phone call away and he is still my son. As Todd prepares to leave this week I think my mind looked at it as a cut off not just a change in geography. My stress level has calmed down some realizing he is still there. He might not be located across town but he still cares.

Have you had a support member move away? Did you feel stress and strain? How did you handle it.

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