New Spot on the Block
Running my fingers over my skin and I feel a bump. Wait. Stop. It cannot be. I have never had a spot of psoriasis on my hands, not one. This winter, I got five on my hands inside and out. Sometimes I swear this skin of mine has its own personality and as we do it too, my skin feels the need to grow and go find itself. One would think that when you have psoriasis that the one more spot, is just that, one more spot. Somehow every time when a new area is affected it hits me like a battle-ax. As if psoriasis has not claimed enough of my body, now this. I feel defeated all over again and start questioning everything I am using and or doing/not doing. It could easily drive my mind to the brink of madness.
Here comes the full-on flare
When I was first diagnosed It was just my arms, on the top of my wrist. I recall thinking to myself, mmm okay so this is not too bad, I mean it is not great, it could, however, be a lot worse. Now, if I did not know better I would think that my immune system took this as a challenge. Not too long from then, a new spot came higher up on my arms and before I could blink my eyes, both my arms were covered in spots upon spots of red circles. My legs were a few weeks later - top to bottom, My scalp got the message late and was sure to arrive with a bang. For a long time that was all I had and I managed to accept it and start moving on with my life.
Not just the arms and legs
Fast forward a few years and I was pregnant with my first and so far my only child. Now I am not too sure if my psoriasis took this as a challenge or if it was feeling neglected. My oh my, next on the list was my nails, I was devastated. I had always had such pride in my nails; I was blessed with good genes in this department and was always so happy with my nails. That was ended very quickly and 5 years later I am still trying to get to the bottom of this. My current strategy is gel nail polish and keeping them short enough to be sure they will not rip off.
Waiting for the symmetrical patch to arrive
Last, but not least, to add to the party came all the other body parts, and yes I mean all of them. Over the years there is only one part that has not had an outbreak, which is under my feet. Somehow every time this happened and continues to happen. I am taken aback, shocked and pretty upset about, it hurts and takes me back to a place I do not particularly care to revisit in my mind. A place filled with hurt and a sense of hopelessness when in the thick of this disease. Through all of this every time I manage to accept the new addition to the family and wait for the symmetrical patch to arrive. Yes, I am blessed to have symmetry in my skin, one this side and one that side, a form of balance I guess. It is the strangest thing really knowing that the other one is coming, almost as if it is not complete without the other one.
How do you deal with the new arrivals? Do they also upset you so, or have you managed to find a way to not have it affect you so? If you have, Please share this with me.
Do you anxiously anticipate a psoriasis relapse?