My Untold Story: Pregnant with Severe Psoriasis at 18
Editor's note: This article discusses pregnancy loss and miscarriage.
I've been sharing in this psoriasis community for quite some time now. Believe it or not, there have been a few stories I haven't shared - and here's one of them. The year 1975 was a banner year for me. I graduated high school, got pregnant, and got married within the same year.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was over the moon and very happy to be a mom. Within a few weeks, nausea and feeling sickness settled in. Everyone told me this was normal - they blamed it on morning sickness. Living with severe psoriasis - something was telling me this may be something more.
Growing a baby with painful skin. What's a girl to do?
My psoriasis, which was considered severe already, worsened. What's a girl to do? Make a dermatologist appointment. He blamed my immune system and sent me home. From there, I became 80-90% covered in psoriasis.
I ended up going to the emergency room. The doctor asked me about different things and wanted to know if I was having any throat pain or difficulty swallowing. I told him yes, I did. He immediately tested me for strep, which I tested positive for. I was given some medication and sent home.
At my next OB-GYN appointment, the doctor couldn't find a strong heartbeat, and the baby was measuring very small. Upon instruction, I came back 10 days later. Heartbreaking news reported that I had a miscarriage. I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. How did this happen? Heartache consumed me.
Recovering from some painful news...
I was so shocked. My doctor couldn't really find the words to explain the situation - let alone provide words of comfort. He stated that the autoimmune response was out of whack as my body began to develop and change. While I found myself with severe plaques in a severe flare, my body was working overtime.
My body perceived my growing baby as a threat. I'll never forget those words and what he said to me. I'm trying my best to explain it all to you here. Still, to this day, I can’t get those words out of my mind. I was so angry and mad at the world.
I cursed myself for having psoriasis. It was already such a significant factor in my life, and now it's taking away my future. There may have been other reasons. Of course, the body is complicated. It just wasn't my time to have a baby. To this day, I still blame myself for not going to the doctor sooner when I wasn’t feeling too good.
The future was bright for me.
I just didn't know it at the time. I did get pregnant again. I had 2 beautiful baby boys. Well, they are both grown men now. My psoriasis went into remission both times that I was pregnant. It was like a miracle and a dream at the same time.
My only advice is if you don’t feel well, see your doctor. Get your psoriasis under control. Take care of yourself; there are better days to come.
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