Learning to Love Myself Through Imperfections

Last updated: March 2019

There is a kind of beauty in imperfection.” -Conrad Hall

My full lips (aka soup coolers growing up), long lanky body, and my height have always made me feel like I wasn’t attractive. To top it off I had horrible skin due to my psoriasis and really bad acne. For years I hid my psoriasis out of shame just as much as I hid my insecurities. Honestly, I lacked self-confidence for most of my life until now. Interestingly enough it wasn’t until I admitted these feelings through revealing my imperfections that beauty found me.

Is your self-confidence impacted by psoriasis?

Are you struggling with seeing yourself as beautiful? Do you compare yourself to others who seem to have it better than you? Do you ever wonder why you were chosen to have this disease? Do you ever question if you will find love because of your psoriasis? These are all questions I once asked myself as well. I want to let you know that eventually, things get better as long as you are actively trying to grow from this adversity of psoriasis and not allowing it to defeat you. Here are the things I do to own my beauty.

Stop being your biggest enemy

Negative thoughts often start in our minds before they ever become a reality. While many of us psoriasis sufferers have run into rude people, at times I feel as though our biggest enemy becomes oneself and learning how to combat these negative thoughts that seem to chase us down about our disease. You have to learn how to control your own thoughts, don’t allow them to run rampant because they will distort your views on the beauty within yourself. Here is what I do to combat these negative ideas that pop up:

Practicing positive self talk

Even if it doesn’t feel genuine I will say positive things about myself that are opposite of what I’m thinking. It’s taken some time but now I believe the positive things and I’m able to turn away negative thoughts a lot quicker. Some people even look in the mirror while they practice this exercise. Keep a Gratitude Journal This is a journal where you can express the things you are thankful for. I don’t keep a gratitude journal per-say, I like books that give journaling prompts or ask questions about yourself that cause you to reflect on who you are. Some of these questions involve what you are thankful and why. Reflection Have alone time and take a moment to reflect on your feelings. Write down positive personality traits and physical traits. When you are feeling down go back to those points and remind yourself of the good things you like about yourself.

Become self-aware

Know and own your imperfections! When I was ashamed of my disease and hid it, that’s when I felt the least beautiful. When I started to share my story and found the courage to let go of the shame, that’s when I felt the most beautiful. When I started to admit and own my imperfections I felt liberated. There is nothing anyone can tell me about myself that I don’t already know and understand. I’m constantly getting to know myself by assessing my feelings and addressing them, even if it’s internally. I also did counseling when things became really though.

Learn how to defend yourself

Has anyone ever said something to you that really hurt your feelings, and for whatever reason you let it go to prevent any awkwardness? Stop doing this. Learn healthy ways to defend yourself without being mean or being hurtful in return. If someone really loves and cares about you they will empathize with the feelings you share. You are doing yourself a disservice by not addressing it because in the end you only beat yourself up for not defending yourself. Understand society’s standards do not define you.

Learn to love yourself

People’s ideas of beauty will have you beating up on yourself attempting to reach unattainable goals. You have to find beauty within yourself and own it. Through my journey of having psoriasis, I’ve learned there is more to being beautiful than by how you look on the outside. Finding things I love about myself have helped me to be beautiful. I also understand I am not for everybody, but that doesn’t devalue my worth. Here is an analogy: If you are selling peaches it would be too much work trying to convince those who only like apples or bananas to give you a try. You will be most successful soliciting to those who are in love with peaches. I had to find people who are in LOVE with big lips, lanky legs, and don’t mind psoriasis, lol. Find what likes you and don’t worry about the rest.

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