Things That Makes You Go Hmmm

I consider myself the queen of psoriasis, but there have been times in my life where things have puzzled me in the past 56 years. I've found a substitute when I don't know what to say to people who stump me with their remarks.

Psoriasis within itself is one of those things that makes you do a double and think what is this on me? My journey has been one of many things. I have experienced silence as the person who was trying to figure out what is on my skin. Some people have the nerve or audacity to approach me and say, your skin is very dry, why don’t you put some lotion on it? All I can do is shake my head and go hmmm.

I've been through some things in life. I remember going to a friend of a friend’s house and I heard her whispering something to her. I politely asked, “Is everything okay?” Of course, she said ok, but I found out later that she was asking if it was okay for me to be around her children? These are the moments all I could do was go hmmm.

Emergency room visit

I have been to the ER a few times in life. I remember this one time I had to go for a very bad earache. I went to the check in at the registration window. This lady looks at me and before I could say anything she said your rash looks very serious. We need to have someone look at that right away. I was not there for my "rash" as she called it. I told her I was having ear pain, that’s why I was there. I just went hmmm.

If you have lived with psoriasis, as I have, there will be many hmmm days in your life. It just means I don't know what to say or think right now. You need to quiet the mind of trying to figure out the right words to say. There are always, stares, remarks, babblings. Over the years I've learned to calm the mind.

We all have moments of psoriasis flares where it just shows up out of nowhere. Where did this flare come from? I’m become perplexed by the element of surprise for as long as I can remember. My psoriasis can be good one day and out of nowhere, I'm counting how many plaques showed up. Hmmm. Psoriasis has given me more insight and has shown me my strengths and shown me my weakness as well.

Things that make you go hmmm

• Biologics have been my saving mercy for close to 20 years now. It has been my miracle drug. I have been on 7 biologics and the thing for me is that they are lasting for a shorter and shorter period.
• If you have decided to just take an over-the-counter treatment, such as salicylic acid or the coal tar treatment. These can cause hives, dry skin, and sun sensitive skin, itching, burning and sensitivity to sunlight.
• One of my comorbidities is high cholesterol and high blood pressure. I was given medication but was never told to change my diet.
• My doctor suggested I get my eyes checked because he thought that psoriasis had affected them. My eye doctor who was wearing glasses suggested I get Lasik eye surgery.

I loved this age in my life. I’m now 61 and have gone through the trials and tribulations of having this disease. I have been hearing since I was a kid the uses of apple cider vinegar. I’ve been taking it regularly for as long as I can remember. My grandmother swore by this stuff; she would wash windows with it, use it as a weed killer and cook with it. Over the past few years, I have heard more about vinegar for health to lower your cholesterol, weight loss, and improved diabetes. Well, I had to have a root canal recently. He told me on that visit that I have tooth erosion. After many conversations with a couple of other doctors, they think it could be from the vinegar. There is no scientific evidence of this, but this makes you go hmmm.

What I’ve learned about me?

I know that I’m strong and can endure a lot and there are people who do care. There is a world of evil all around us, yet there is good too. Just know that people will be who they are. I think the greatest thing that makes me go hmmm is after a lifetime of being a psoriasis patient I have learned that I love helping others and being an advocate. Yes, we will itch, scratch and be in pain due to psoriasis, just remember that people will never understand what we are going through and how they make us feel. Just take it from me; the psoriasis queen. Just say hmmm.