Psoriasis Works Like a Thief in the Night
You have been feeling okay for quite a while. These past few months have been easy, silent, and bearable. It feels like you are slowly going back to normal, almost like you are slowly taking back your life again. Until one day, it just stops.
The rashes start appearing again. The itching resurfaces. The pain in your joints is coming back. Slowly, slowly. And then all at once.
The pain of relapse
What do you do? What do you do when you tried your best to get your life back, but now it feels like it’s slowly slipping away from your hands? Do you hold on tighter? Or do you just stop fighting and let go?
More than a year has passed since I stopped drinking medications. I was not constantly reminded that I was sick and that I was trying to get better. For a moment, I thought my symptoms have improved. In fact, I thought I was living a normal life again.
However, one day, I just woke up feeling a very familiar pain. That agonizing pain changed my life. The same pain that paralyzed me from getting on with my life. The very same pain that made me take a break from school, that stopped me from going out and seeing my friends, and that made me want to give up and quit.
Relapse does not mean failure
Although my doctor constantly warned me of the possible relapse and the fact that my symptoms would eventually return, I was still in disbelief when it happened.
Realizing that my symptoms were returning was a bit rough for me especially since I felt like I was just regaining control over my life. It was hard for me to accept that I have to deal with this pain all over again.
Just as how it worked when I received my diagnosis, it became a whole lot easier when I found it in my heart to accept it. From everything that has happened, all that I could take away from this is that relapse is not a failure.
The fact that you are fighting for your life and your well-being again is not a sign of weakness nor does it mean that you did something wrong. It just means that the treatment should be reevaluated and there must be some changes that have to be done to manage the illness.
It's time to take back control
Constantly, I remind myself that I have been through this before. All of these feelings, all of this pain and struggles are familiar to me. More importantly, I know that things will eventually get better as they did before, too.
Psoriasis may work like a thief in the night, it may claim everything from me again as it did once. But this time, I won't let it. And even if at one point it did, I will do everything in my power to take it back.
Do you anxiously anticipate a psoriasis relapse?