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In the Eye of the Fire

Sitting staring into the depth of a red hot fire, passed the licking flames and the beauty of the dancing colors. Look deep into the embers right against the burning wood. It glows red hot, shades of yellow and orange with cracks of black as the wood changes to char. How can the act of destroying something be so deliciously beautiful? The heat is so intense there that you cannot go close. Right now I feel like I stuck in the middle of that fire. I know I need to find a way to jump out, yet every which way I turn all I feel is more heat and crackling of my bones seems to be the only sound I hear.

Dealing with inflammation

Inflammation, according to the dictionary, is “a localized physical condition in which part of the body becomes reddened, swollen, hot and often painful, especially as a reaction to injury or infection.” It has synonyms such as pain, tenderness, sensitivity, stinging, rawness and the list goes on. I am sure that I could wrap that all up into one bag and it would describe exactly how I am feeling at the moment.  It feels as if I am seated at the middle of that beautiful fire, the red patches of psoriasis reflecting the beauty of the flames that feel they are going in engulf me at any moment. I just cannot seem to pinpoint why I cannot get behind this inflammation.

Everything is connected

There must be proof somewhere in some journal or some study that shows, your joints/body parts communicate with each other. When I have an itch on my arm, it is not long and my hand is also itchy and it would seem that the itch then travels freely across my body. Playing tag with all my body parts making sure that none are left out and soon enough, my whole body itches. Inflammation seems no different to me this year, and yes this year is worse than the ones before. I have had the worst pains in my feet, hands and my chest, ribs, and back. Now I know I have psoriatic arthritis, but really now did we need to turn up the volume of my pain level up at such a rapid rate. Also, why did this happen this year so suddenly? I am stumped.

I tell you what though, this has been so hard to cope with, costochondritis being top of my list and it has been sending smoke signals to the rest of my body. Random body parts are obliging and coming at it full tilt. My skin is currently in seasonal remission and even she has turned her back on me sent me some extra flares while finding my way through the darkness to the light that is remission. So why now, what changed. Well, I tell you what, I have analyzed every detail of what I have been eating and what I have been doing. Nothing other than the seasons have changed, and that happens every year.

The fire of an unexplained flare

For now, I need to grin and bear it, take my medication and keep on, well keeping on. I could give up, but that is just not in my blood. I am a warrior of light, I might be a little fragile at the moment. This too shall pass, and I will keep telling myself this, till it does. Some days it just feels like for me to make my way through this fire I will need to walk across the coals. For now, my feet and soul are resting, here where I find beauty in the destruction.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.