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I am seven or eight years in remission now. I have had very small patches since but nothing like I used to have. I had about 85% coverage for five years with one small break in my flares.

I still struggle emotionally with what happened from that.

Everyone thought I was just being superficial and said ITs fine! Just wear a t-shirt.

But it was more than that.

I was in constant pain and the ITCH was unbelievable.

I turned to alcohol. It was the only thing that helped. It took the pain away!

Then I almost died from drinking.

And if anyone was still around from the psoriasis, they had now gone due to the drinking.

As had my career, which was everything to me.

I am fully in remission (just dealing with slight genital patches at the moment) and take shots every month.

but psychologically I can't seem to recover. I am angry. I am scared. I am unable to commit. I have tried psychiatrists who all try to get me to gain weight before anything else (and that is a whole other issue that is not so out of hand except PsYCHOLOGICALLY)

I'm not sure what to do. The emotional pain doesn't go away.

I am eternally grateful to be in remission. Its terrifying to even think I could have it again.

Thanks for listening.

  1. Hi @lilymanz. I am sorry you have had to struggle so long. I totally understand your fear of the psoriasis coming back. It was so severe for me that I was 80% covered for a long while. It was miserable. I live with the fear that it could come back again to that level. In 17 years I have never once been in remission. I am currently about 20% covered which is not 80% but I am still not happy with that. I do not understand the psychiatrist wanting you to put on weight. What does weight have to do with your mental state? Is the fear of the psoriasis coming back to that degree make you not want to commit? I hope you keep trying to find the psychological help that you need. Keep looking until you find that one doctor that will listen to everything you are saying. Sending gentle hugs your way. Vickie W., Team Member

    1. Thank you for your message. It was very needed and I am so grateful for your kinds words.

      The weight gain is so I can be put on psychiatric meds to improve my anxiety and depression from what I went through but they refuse to treat that until I gain the weight.

      Gaining the weight is the biggest hurdle, but one doctor tells me I am so underweight I can't do anything and should be hospitalized and the next says I'm fine and they can't give me social assistance for my weight because its normal.

      big terrible cycle.

      20% is horrible. I'm so sorry you have gone through this for so long. Gave me an appreciation for my situation, which was needed.

      finding a doctor that is good for me is exactly what I am trying to do! I have an amazing derm luckily so just have to find the right GP.

      *gentle hugs*

      1. Hi @lilymanz have you reached out to the National Psoriasis Foundation about your situation? They have the Patient Navigation Center that you can talk to someone who can help. Their number is 1-800-723-9166, option 1. Please feel free to reach out to us any time. You are not alone. Mental health is something that we all deal with and that is not talked about near enough. Vickie W., Team Member

    2. no i have never and this is great to hear. thank you so much i will be using this service.

      1. if you're comfortable please keep us posted with how you're doing and how things go, and, of course, reach out here any time! Sending you a gentle hug. -- Warmly, Christine (Team Member)

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