September 11, 2018
Cleaning up unhealthy relationships and toxic friendships can go a long way towards reducing stress and reducing flares. Easier said than done – which is why we want to know: How do you “spring clean” your emotional space?
May 10, 2020
Hi, @katiev. This is an interesting topic. I feel it's a very important one, as well. I am no doctor or therapist, but what I glean from reading is that the body reacts to its environment. If there is something stressful, it produces what it needs to survive that situation. If that environment continues for a long time, the body spends its energy on reacting to it, to the detriment of healing itself.
Imagine always being on the lookout for danger - there is no time to rest. Emotionally, always expecting negative words from those around you means you can't relax or feel good. And your body stays on alert, rather than switching to recovery and rebuilding.
I have always put other people first - their feelings and needs, and this meant that their feedback was a measure of how well I did, and therefore how good I was. This was toxic, in that I measured myself by their opinion, and I found myself fearing that others would judge me negatively.
It wasn't until I consciously said, "You know what? I don't care what others think of me," that I realized the ones who fell away were like clutter in the attic. If they need my support to get along, then they have their own issues to deal with.
Finally, I learned to say, "I want," and not be made to feel imposing. I am as worthy as anyone. I have no time for judgemental attitudes, but plenty of time for understanding.
I try to say exactly what I feel, taking into account the feelings and beliefs of those who are honest with me. I yam what I yam, as Popeye said.
Overall, the ones who have drifted away once I truly valued myself have left no void, and the ones who stuck with me are great sources of laughs and stories. Life can be rich, despite the little things, like applying Aveeno three times a day! 😀
May 11, 2020
Jill, Community Moderator