Between the Sheets - Sex and Psoriasis – Part Two

In part one we touched on the first few points about having sex when you have psoriasis, a very brief recap is that lubrication is important, as is hygiene. Keep the lights low and stop when you start experiencing pain.

Relationships with psoriasis

If you are involved with someone who has psoriasis and you want to get or are intimately involved, this part of the article is for you. I know that it is no walk in the park, you want to have fun and want it to be pleasurable for both of you. You also want to spare the person you are with any pain and discomfort, emotionally and physically. How you do this is the million-dollar question. It can be pretty simple.

Compliment your partner

Make them feel okay with how they look, while this is not your responsibility I do believe that it is part of taking care of the person you love or care about enough to want to have sex with them. It is all part and parcel, something that is not going change any time soon. I am sure that by now you are not too bothered by the skin or the state of the lesions. Keep at that in mind and, while not drawing all the attention to it, make sure you remind the person you're with how attractive you find them and that they are perfect just the way they are.

Make your partner feel comfortable

Make sure they are comfortable, if your man has psoriasis on his crown jewels you may want to suggest some natural lubricant and a good condom, which would help prevent chaffing and in turn pain. The linen on your bed may seem something trivial, but along with the rolling and moving something as simple as an itchy blanket can cause great pain. Soft clean sheets and if it’s winter add some extra soft warm blankets.

Having open communication is essential

While having a long 2-3 hour session tangled in the sheets with the person you love, sounds idyllic, your partner may not be able to handle that if in a flare or struggling with their skin. Save the lengthy sessions for when your lover is feeling better. Let your lover know that you are willing to stop when they have had enough and feel that they cannot go on. Remember this, as someone who suffers we will often go above and beyond our comfort level, so when we say we are too sore and can no longer carry on, you can know that we have already pushed as far as what we can. Having a safe enough space to say I can’t anymore without being broken down or grouched out goes further than what you can ever imagine.

Battling fatigue

Fatigue is a very real battle for us. The kind of tired that I cannot put into words for you. Be patient, and if your partner is too tired to get kinky under the covers, opt for some cuddling and try again when they feel better. If he or she falls asleep during sex or shortly after, leave them be and let them rest, they fight a daily battle to stay awake and to keep going. Please do not tease us or chastises us about it, you can trust me when I tell you that we are well aware of the situation and doing our best to cope.

Last but not least, helps your lover make it work with you,  keep the line of communication open, encourage a shower after and maybe rub them down with a topical cream to help with some relief. Curl up next to the one you love and sleep in post-coital bliss.