Psoriasis Woes: It Could Always Be Worse

My honest opinion is that “it could be worse” is one of the most generic, overused and overrated phrases.

Really, I have heard this more times in my life than I care to count. Along with its best friend; “try to find good in every situation”.

Wait, before you jump down my throat, hear me out. Take my hand, let me show you a different perspective, just for a moment, open your mind.

The most unwanted comment

Put yourself in my shoes for just one moment. You are having the worst day that you've had in ages, possibly even years. You are feeling emotionally exhausted, drained and in more physical pain that you can explain to anyone.

Keeping it bottled up, you carry on with the day to day tasks of what must be done. If you have a moan about it, the people around you are going to think you are complaining again. Sleep has been avoiding you for days, you are feeling lonely, discontent and just pretty much fed up with it all.

You decide to confide in someone you love and trust. You hang your tired heart out for them to see and explain yourself to this confidant who sits silently, allowing you to let it all out.

Awaiting their piece of wisdom and advice, you look at them with pleading eyes:” give me something to hang on to”. They started speaking and without warning, they deliver those words, "It could be worse." It feels nothing shy of a slap in the face.

Hit me in the feels

I stop, my mouth literally drops open and I all I can come up with is: “What did you say?” Surely you did not just say that to me. Do you think that I do not know that?! Do you think that I am oblivious to the suffering of those around me?

I sit silently and watch how this person I trusted reminds me of the atrocities in and around our lives. Telling me I should be thankful for feeling like I do. I am left confused, lost and deeply hurt. You ask me what is wrong. Here is what until recent years I never had the guts to say out loud.

You have just made me feel like I do not count. That my pain and my suffering are nothing. Just because someone else has it worse in your opinion.

Did you really just tell me that I must be grateful for what I am going through? Did you not hear what I just told you? Why do you belittle my journey? Why did I trust you with my feelings?

Unique journey

Just because someone else is going through something that may be deemed by whoever, the person you are talking to, society as “worse” than what you are going through. That does not by any means take away from the difficulty that you are facing.

We are all given our journeys in life, with trials and tribulations that are meant for us. Just because my psoriasis is 25% coverage and someone else’s is 95% does not take away from my experience.

I remain grateful that my skin is not as bad as theirs at the moment. My 25% might just be proving too much for me.

Finding wholeness with psoriasis

Sometimes there is no silver lining and there is no good to be found. This does not mean that I am cynical, it simply means to me that I recognize what I am going through is just a horrible thing. That it will pass and there will be better days again.

However, while I am going through it, it is okay to not be okay. I matter, my experience matters, my feelings and my physical battle. Part of being whole and content is taking the bad with the good, recognizing it for what it is and then moving on.

Next time before you say these words to someone. I implore you, just stop and think that at that time in their life what they are going through might be their worst time and to be sensitive in your response.