When It Comes To “My” Psoriasis You Don’t Know Me

I remember way back in the day nobody understood me or even knew how much I went through every single day living with psoriasis. My friend yelled at me because I could not do the normal things I used to do. She thought I was overreacting or just pretending. My grandkids sometimes could not understand why I don’t play with them or why I don’t carry them or hug them with ease sometimes.

Psoriasis didn't allow me to do things I wanted to do

My boss and colleagues have made jokes about my walking style since I have to drag my feet now and then. They just didn’t get how bad my skin and joints hurt. On several occasions, my boss has threatened to fire me when I didn’t finish tasks on time. She said I was faking my sickness and just a lazy person. My friends don’t get why I don’t hang out with them or participate in activities we used to do together. l tried to explain to them that my skin wouldn’t allow me to.

There were times when I couldn't climb stairs or hold a cup of coffee. I was aware of the disease and ready for it even before I was diagnosed. This is because I had been diagnosed years ago, but just not getting the proper treatment.

My parents don’t know what caused me to get psoriasis. I started experiencing itching on my scalp with thick dandruff falling and then from my scalp it progressed to my elbows then my knees. Within a short time, I was covered with heavy scaly thick patches that were purplish and covered my entire body.  There were days I remember being in so much pain and itching like crazy. My parents made some homemade concoctions for the itch. It was decades later before I was finally able to get some relief.

Psoriasis pain can be unbearable

The part of the disease altered my life even though I have tried to rise above it but I still to this day find myself crying because of pain. I have spent a lot on medical bills present and past. Back in the day, we had what was called – pre-existing conditions. If you had any type of illness you had to wait a year to get insurance through your employer to be covered.

Let’s fast forward to the present day. The struggle to wake up in the morning is bad and putting on a shirt or socks is another story. There are mornings when I can’t lift my arm to comb my hair. I sure did not see this coming in my later years of life. My doctors have me on the best medications, but they seem to be losing their effect.

I recently had to get off more medication because of side effects. The pain is getting to be too much, so I will be seeing my dermatologist and rheumatologist soon.  There must be something I can take. Something needs to help me alleviate this pain for good and live my life again. My closing line to people suffering like me. You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone but your healthcare team.

We are all in this together.