A Letter to the Newly Diagnosed Me

For many people, getting diagnosed with psoriasis causes mixed emotions. Although it is good to finally have an answer for your symptoms, it is also scary to find out that you have a chronic skin condition that will need lifetime management.

What would you say?

If you could write yourself a letter and send it back to a newly diagnosed version of yourself, what would you say? What if there was a way to give that version of you some sage advice? I would grasp the opportunity with both hands.

This letter goes out to all of you that are newly diagnosed. If the walls feel like they are closing in on you, take a moment and read this.

It only starts with unknown lesions

Life has been a whirlwind and life is good, busy, and full of days and laughter and love. New jobs and opportunities, working in one of the most beautiful places in the world. You are about to enter a really difficult time in your life.

I know you feel invincible now, please slow down. Take your health into consideration. Two weeks from now, you will start to develop some unknown lesions. This is the start of a whole journey for you. Remember all those times you said you wanted to find yourself, you are about to. The hard way. Buckle up and never lose sight of who you are.

Yes, everything hurts.

Oh, darling girl, things are so hard right now. Your skin is covered in plaques and your body hurts. Why does everything hurt? Your heart is broken and you have been shaken to your core. Your tears roll down your cheeks and burn the patches of psoriasis that now adorn your once clear smooth skin.

Patches all over your scalp are causing your hair to fall out in clumps. The color is all but gone from your curls. Chin up, things are going to get better. I promise they will. Pick yourself up off that shower floor. This is the place you will use to rebuild your soul.

A painful lesson.

Today you were judged. Your skin flared bright red and made everyone around you stare. I cannot even begin to tell you what a powerful moment this is. This hurt that you are feeling, this rejection and pain. It will teach you so much humility and teach you one of the most important lessons you need to get through this lifetime.

Anyone who judges you by your psoriasis is not the kind of person that you want in your life. Even when losing toxic people is hard. You are so worthy. I know you cannot see it now. But you are and soon, so very soon you will see it too.

It will be okay.

Dear one, you are the bravest soul. You carry so much silently and make the hard things look so easy. Today you smiled for the first time in a long time. The kind of smile that felt real, like you could breathe again for the first time in months.

This is so far from over, but these lessons, you will carry with you forever. You will help heal people along the way. You will offer people a safe space. You will deal with your seasonal flares better and people will love you anyway, spots and all.

Be kinder to yourself, slow down. It will be okay even when it feels like the walls are closing in on you. You do have people who understand, all you have to do is reach out. I love you and I am so deeply proud of you. One day you will be too, I promise.